So, as a testament to the conveniences made possible by the quiet helpers of (post) 20th century life, (and in preparation for my pastiche) I will now also write very long and hard about some trivial things:
Note: I'm not necessarily trying to write in Baker's style, I'm just collecting thoughts.
On my relationship with pencils:
- I've always hated those gummy*1 pencil grips. Iulianna would wrap her pencils in miraculously clean (given their slight stickiness) pink gummy cylinders of various textures: some spiraled, some ringed or dotted. It made her pencils very difficult to steal*2, because I couldn't stand to hold them (and because it made it obvious that I was using her pencil). I would shift my hand back and forth between choking up to the very tip, which gave you the best control, but (as my art teacher would say) was poor form and tired out your hand faster, and relaxing back to the end of the pencil which made writing neatly a real challenge.*3
- *1 Actually, ever since a vomit-inducing binge in kindergarten, I've hated the edible gummies too. For years my friends would taunt me with the stale sweet smell of Mots fruit snacks. I seem to be recovering somewhat now, which isn't of great consequence to me at this point in my life. However, I do take to be a good sign for others suffering from conditioned taste aversion to more important foods: it's not permanent apparently.
- *2 This was a serious problem for me because (aside from the extra thick perpetually unsharpened pencil*4 that I kept through the entire second grade, and the ridiculously short pencil I slowly whittled away three grades later*5) I've never kept an individual pencil in use for more than a week. In sixth grade I learned to reclaim my share of lost pencils from the hallways, which came in handy when Iulianna and I were put on different teams in the 7th grade, making her supply of pencils definitively off limits.
- *4 I managed to get through the entire year having only sharpened this pencil once because I was utterly convinced at this time that dull pencils were the way to go. This probably had something to do with the fact that I had just started art lessons and learned that it's much easier to shade with a broad tip. I had failed to catch onto the fact that this did not generalize to writing. On the up-side, my wide lines were probably the only things keeping my handwriting from degenerating into microscopy, which it has now done since Iulianna convinced me that sharp tips were preferable in the fourth grade.
- *5 It was a contest between the three of us: Jennifer, Iulianna*6 and me (Jonah may have participated at some point as well) to see how small we could make our pencils. The green metal holders for the erasers were thin enough that they could be shaved back into little curly bits, revealing more of the eraser beneath them which could then be used up to achieve an even shorter pencil. Eventually you got the the point where normal pencil sharpeners wouldn't work and you had to use the hand held kind, or a pocket knife to expose the last bits of graphite.
- *I have spent way too much time with Iulianna.
- *3 Kai held his pencil in a way that I admired for the whole time we had art lessons together. Not only did he hold it at the very end, extremely loosely, he held it backwards so that his pinky was closest to and his pointer finger farthest from the tip.
- Iulianna and I were shocked to come upon, one day, a piece of paper that, in a small corner had somehow been ripped down the middle. I don't mean down the middle 'hamburger' or 'hotdog' style*, but split down the thinnest dimension into two separate, thinner corners of paper. This meant that what I had once assumed was a simple rectangle of thin, pressed wood pulp mush and bleach, was more complicated. It was at least two layers of very thin dried mush stacked on top of each other. And, as I looked more closely, each layer revealed itself to be woven, deliberately, like a tiny straw carpet. How they would efficiently lineup such tiny fibers of wood, I have no idea.
- *I was first introduced to these terms in the third grade during some craft-making exercise. I thought them very strange, and somewhat grotesque ways to describe a method of folding something so utterly un-food-like as paper (unlike Baker, I've never been a big fan of either hamburgers or hot dogs, even with sauerkraut). I imagined my crisp, newly folded sheets dripping and translucent with yellow grease. Several years passed before I made the connection between the shapes of the foods and the methods of folding, which helped me accept the terms to some extent.
Sorry if that was impossible to follow because of all the branchy footnotes (and/or super boring). Don't feel compelled to struggle too much keeping track of their order. They should be understandable enough independently.
What's been on your mind recently?
I think you did a good job of mimicking Baker's style here! The footnotes, which by nature make the topic hard to follow, really work here. I also get all stuff you mention, which I think highlights the similarity between this and the Mezzanine. You present fitting examples of the subtleties of life that we all have knowledge of, but never think to mention in conversation. For one, I've had similar challenges regarding wooden pencils. Though they constantly needed sharpening and would run out fairly quickly (if you only used one at a time), I was always against the concept of mechanical pencils. Perhaps they reminded me too much of pens, which, due to their permanence, symbolized adulthood (a terrifying notion for my 11 year old self). It wasn't until high school that I finally realized mechanical pencils are the way to go. Similarly, I was also shocked when I made the discovery that paper has more than two dimensions. Also, the fact that it's woven really shows how much thought goes into something so trivial (though Howie would strongly disagree with that word).
ReplyDeleteYou say you aren't necessarily trying to pastiche Baker's style here, but style and content are often so closely connected, just writing as you do about these "trivial" (but interesting and funny and familiar) details does sound a lot like his fiction. (It's also fun to read about all of these nearly full-grown current and former students of mine as little kids with their nubby-pencil competitions! Kai's art-pencil technique sounds truly remarkable, and I regret not having seen it in action.)
ReplyDeleteI really like this, and I think it goes into detail a lot, which is a HUGE part of Baker's style! Baker's style was interesting, but I was even more interested in what you had to say because I already know you as a person. I really appreciate your level of detail and your humor.
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